As I
mentioned earlier, I was going to create a devotional on Love based on a
yearly Scripture writing plan I had come up with at the end of 2020.
I was pissed, to say the least about the fallout and having
been kicked out of the faith journaling group.
I can admit it, in my grief, anger, and pride, I vehemently exclaimed… “FORGET
THEM… I DON’T NEED THEM… I’LL DO IT ON MY OWN!”
There was no prayer. There
was no seeking God. There was no
humility. There was just anger and pride
that was forcing me to prove the whole world wrong. It was me against the world.
And the funny thing is… there was no world… there was no
against… there was just me and my festering anger, boiling up more and more each
day. I had moments where I would cry so hard and long that I ended up with a headache. There were moments when I was so angry that I
could feel heat from my ears and had to go lay down. I would calm myself down by praying, but that
would only last for a few minutes and then the whole routine would start up
again.
I talked through it with myself. I talked through it with my husband. I even talked about it with She. She reminded me of here words… Don’t
you stay too long. There was no
healing… only grief, anger, and hurt pride.
I was walking in Proverbs 16:18, and little did I know a
literal fall would take me down.
