My hurt behind the fallout was compounded.
I am a part of a Christian Writers group on Facebook. I decided to tell them about the
fallout. I made a post talking about
what had happened. I mentioned that I was
supposed to do a study about love for the group. (Now, I cannot say that
mentioning this was conscience or not. I
do not really know, but I think in some way, I wanted my wishes and endeavor to
be honored.)
Several people encouraged me and said they would pray for
me. Several people sympathized with
me. One person even offered to let me
write for their website. At first, I was
starting to feel better from the comments I received.
Then, in one brief reading of a Facebook notification, it
had all gone away. I got a notification
telling me that my post had been deleted.
The comment said something to the effect of… “I know we all get hurt and
feel bad when things like this happen, but this post is inappropriate for the
group…” they said why it was
inappropriate, but my tears blurred that part from my memory. I think it had something to do with me
mentioning that I had lost the opportunity to do some writing for a group. I suppose they felt as if I was asking for a place to write or dry begging for work. (Whatever... eye roll!) -There might still be a little hurt behind this one.
It all came flooding back to me… the events leading up to
the fallout, the fallout, the aftermath, the hurt, the angry, the vitriol. But the pride was not there… I did not feel this overwhelming urge to do
it to prove them wrong.
As of writing this, I can honestly say, this moment of hurt
was the beginning of my healing.
Excuse me for a moment… Lord, why does my healing always
seem to come after I get hurt by someone or something else?
With God’s help, the healing began… I cannot tell you the
process of how I worked my way through this whole ordeal, but I know that I have
because I am able to write about it and through all of this, I have only cried twice,
even though the tears have formed over the entire course of writing this.
Psalm 147:3 is so true…
