From the Writer's Heart (The Pandemic Stopped My Flow)

 

I had not written anything, so I say, since 2019. (At least this is what I had been telling myself for awhile.)  Should I say, I have not written any nonfiction, which is what I like to write since 2019.

Before the pandemic, I had written up an amazing schedule that would carry me through 2020 and have me finishing up one of my books.  I was all excited.  I am sure that I prayed and talked to God about my plans.  I live by Proverbs 16:3 as a writer.

I was not able to even focus on writing once the pandemic hit.  Things were all kinds of crazy because I had to go from teaching 6 classes on campus to teaching 6 classes online.  The transition was relatively easy for me because most of my class items were online.  I thought it would be easy for the students, too.  From all the emails I got, it was not.  Writing… went out the window and my full focus became teaching classes.

I struggled with not being able to write.  My outlet had been taken away.  And during spring 2020, is when I needed my creative writing outlet the most.  -but- I did not have it.  I cried.  I pleaded.  I even threatened.  –but, my muse was gone and so was my creativity.  I felt like a rudderless ship on a rough sea.  I even tried to sit at my computer and write… but, all that came were tears.

As I type this now, tears fill my eyes.  This is my first time writing this out.  I have held this in for 2 years.

I was a writer without a muse… without words to express myself… without thoughts to fill my mind… without characters to keep me company.

When I needed it most… writing had left me. -And I did not know why.